Storms are scary. I said it.
It's currently Bad Weather Season (one of them) here in Alabama, and though it's sunny today, it seems like we're bracing for hide-in-the-shelter weather every couple of weeks. If you live in the Southeast, there's a big chance that you frequently find yourself preparing for the storm systems that are part of the reality of living here. This is a big deal, and for a lot of us, our anxiety is probably spikes higher than we would like. I know mine has. Scrolling social media during the latest severe weather threat, my heart ached at so many who expressed every feeling from anxiety to outright terror about the upcoming storms.
That day, I drafted and sent an email to my subscribers with a few suggestions for getting through the next few hours. In the days since, so many of my subscribers and clients have expressed gratitude for that email (it was the most-opened email I've ever sent!) that I wanted to make it available here in blog form for future reference for those who don't subscribe to my mailing list.
Let's begin.
Before the Storm:
Take a Moment:
You paused to read this blog, now pause for yourself. Many times, anxiety is our attempt to take control of a situation by thinking (and overthinking) every outcome to "prepare" ourselves. But that usually just wears you out and stresses you out before the tough moment actually comes, doesn't it?
So do something a little different for the next 60 seconds.
Start with a deep breath, in and out. Another, in and out.
Now, I want you to repeat to yourself: I have done what I can do. I have done my best. In this moment, my family and I are okay.
If those intrusive thoughts keep coming, breathe through them, notice them, and brush them gently to the side - this 60 seconds belongs to YOU.
I'll wait.
Finished? Well done. I know its hard. Thank you for trying.
What Can I Control?
Make a list of what you can control to differentiate from what you cannot (and which is therefore not productive). Here are some examples that I use myself:
Storm prep time! Get those batteries charged, radio ready, flashlights ready, and fill up containers with water. I've got snacks in our safe place, the kids' sketchbooks and coloring supplies ready, bicycle helmets waiting, and we're bringing in the carseats. If you find your brain spiraling, put your hands to work on something tangible. You can't control wind speed, but you can be creative in thinking of something you can do to pass the time while you wait on the storm to pass.
Make a fun basket for the kids and for you, too! Word puzzles, essential oils, snacks, games, coloring books - whatever you like!
Unplug major electronic devices - this might be overcautious, but some friends of ours lost TVs and other major appliances due to a power surge during a storm. We had lightning strike our house during a tornado a few years ago, and we were fine, but we lost a few outlets. Better safe than sorry!
Hugs! Sounds silly, but are the kids anxious? Your spouse? YOU? Stop for a hug or three - it will benefit all of you.
What Can't I Control?
The weather and what it will do.
The safety of my family.
The impact on my community.
So what do I do with what I can't control? Breathe through it. Tell yourself its okay to be scared. Imagine taking those burdens of fear and putting them on a shelf - you aren't throwing them away, but you are freeing your hands for more important things.
You are in control, not your fear. Keep moving when it makes sense to, and pause to rest when it doesn't. Hug your loved ones. Add an extra snack to the box. Tune in to the radar.
Keep watch. Keep taking deep breaths. You can do this.
During the Storm:
Gather in your safe place when its time. Lead your family in taking big, deep breaths. It's okay to be scared! It's a natural, healthy response and it is designed to keep us safe! Normalize fear for your kids, too - they shouldn't feel ashamed of being afraid, even if we'd all like to stay as calm as possible.
But if you find yourself panicking, try a few grounding exercises to refocus and calm your heart rate. Here are a few of my favorites:
1) 3 Things:
Find 3 things in your environment that you can see (ex: gray tile in the bathroom, red shirt in the closet), 3 things you can hear (ex: sounds of the radio, voices of children), and 3 things you can physically feel (ex: soft shirt against your skin, soft pillow in your safe place).
2) Grounding Touch:
Find something in your immediate environment to hold on to. Could be a soft blanket, a smooth "worry stone", or a rough surface - whatever you like best! Focus on the way that it feels in your hands. Run your fingers over it and notice as many features about it as you can - color, texture, size, etc.
3) Connecting Touch:
Reach for a loved one or a beloved pet. Physical touch with a loved one (even a pet!) releases the hormone oxytocin, which can relax, decrease pain, and promote a feeling of well-being. Holding hands or even a hug can be a great comfort when we're feeling stressed.
After The Storm:
Look around.
Take a moment to be grateful that you're okay. Take another.
Allow yourself to feel the wash of emotions that come after a crisis: nausea, exhaustion, physical pain, anxiety. Your hands and voice might shake. This is all normal!
Then get moving. If your home has damage, make a list of what needs to be done and who you can call for help. If your home is fine but your family or neighbors need help, what can you do to help them? Check in with friends and family. Bad weather is a time when the best of humanity can shine as we work together to help each other.
You can do this. We can do this.
I wish you all a safe storm season.
The sun will rise tomorrow, and SO WILL YOU.
Warmly,
Sarah Bradley, MS, LMFT
Owner, Director - Hope Grows Therapy & Consultation